new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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