i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
