Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He passed out mid-signature
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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