Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
