Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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