explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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