You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
