Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
