so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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