Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
