Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
