And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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