Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
only if we run a train.
done.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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