I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
