btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
