I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
