this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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