Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
drinking out of a sandbucket again
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
