you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize