i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
