I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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