he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize