My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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