Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Mom said you looked used
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
