too bad you live with your parents still
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
