She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
