its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
