i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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