i need an iv and a liver transplant
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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