this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
