the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Randomize
