Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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