It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
