Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
