i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
