I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm always down for nudity.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
