So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
