I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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