I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
