my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
