Sry I called you an 8
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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