I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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