okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
