Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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