We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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