For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
