If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
