who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
