She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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