ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I don't deserve a penis
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Randomize
