Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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