Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
