We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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