Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
