My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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