i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
my liver is dry heaving
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
