I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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