so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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