did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
