I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
