I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
