I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
