Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize