spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
