Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
