I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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