How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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