you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I skipped work to stalk him.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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