My Higher Power is John Stamos
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
