first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
