I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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