We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Screwed.edu
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize