everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
