Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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