What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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