what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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