Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
