guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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