Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
