There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
